Thursday, 19 November 2015

I'm a lumberjack

My wood store is full and all kindling is chopped so I'm ready for this winter, a winter we are being told that is going to be exceptionally cold.The extreme cold weather is as usual going to be caused by AGW a global catastrophe that is this year responsible for a strong El Nino effect.Now being of northern English stock I'm not sure what the foreign lingo stands for but being a well travelled man I can hazard a guess.El Nino refers to the large amount of small hot Mexicans that have set up camp in America.These Mexicans have with the help of pepper fuelled gaseous emissions  warmed up the northern hemisphere so the Thud family stuck here on a soggy peninsula in the Irish sea are going to suffer...get it? I have a friend in Maine who is hunkered down prepared for the coming ice age surrounded by tons of wood pellets so in an act of reverse lend lease I was going to send him one of my spare trees (the wind blew them all down).Unfortunately the postage was $15000 so he will have to do with my warm regards...sorry Sipp!

13 comments:

SippicanCottage said...

Hi Thud- My goodness your daughter is a lovely young girl and a credit to her parents.

What is that tree? An elm? It's mongo, whatever it is.

Thud said...

Thanks Sipp, she is as sweet as she is pretty,The trees a Beech...come and get it!

NotClauswitz said...

Based on my recent experience that might be enough to get you through. Watching a heavy, hard chunk of oak go to cinders in minutes makes me value even more the durable utility of coal!

Sen. C.R.O'Blene said...

We use a wood grenade for splitting these days, I don't trust myself with an axe any more... I do use a fireman's axe for kindling though, it's a nice piece of kit!

Lovely pic of your daught too, Thud, what a beautiful little girl!

Electro-Kevin said...

I thought El Nino was a tapas bar. But then I thought cunnilingus was an Irish airline too.

Good to see you're set up for self sufficiency. I hope you have an arsenal of automatic weapons too.

haddock said...

That poor girl shouldn't be splitting logs.... well not in her best school clothes.
Have they finished raking the leaves from the driveway yet ?

Thud said...

H.I have them checking roof for storm damage!

Vinogirl said...

I have wood-supply envy...I need to get splitting. I plan to burn as much wood as I can get away with in the face of the BAAQMD (which acts just like the terrorist group it's name sounds like).

Albert said...

I see the kids have also been busy getting the wood ready for the gatehouse how did you get the younger ones to carry that heavy wood and stack it so high next to the gatehouse, I bet you told the father Christmas wouldn't leave any toys if they didn't work, I found a picture taken by the little one of mrs Albert and mrs Thud when the little one and cousin decided an open car door and side pocket was the place to play and found my camera, of course being daft I turned the camera on for them.

Thud said...

Send us the pic granddad!

Albert said...

Done

Liz Hinds said...

That is a serious wood store! Husband would be very jealous.

phlegmfatale said...

My friends in Maine just barely squeaked down to their new home in Arizona in time to miss the winter. Visiting my folks in Dallas for Christmas yesterday, it was shorts and flip-flop weather, and we wore summer gear. Then again, as erratic as North Texas weather is, we never store our summer gear. I'm glad you're prepared to stay warm and safe. :)